And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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