I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
