I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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