It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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