So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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