OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
it was like eating out sand paper
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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