quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
