Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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