did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
