i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
