Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize