All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
