i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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