Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
