just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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