was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
