I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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