Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
