I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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