Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
