made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
