a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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