We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
