Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
