He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
