me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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