Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
