Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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