You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
