I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
