I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
