i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
