My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
