you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ugly people sure do ruin things
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
