I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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