apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
