I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
