If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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