he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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