Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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