Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
