I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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