he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
