And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
