Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
