I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize