Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
