we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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