Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
