so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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