i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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