my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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