I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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