Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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