dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
