1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
