i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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