Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
