Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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