I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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