I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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