Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
handjob tips. give me some.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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