Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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